In this video we discuss a reader’s question about how to handle a situation where his partner is interested in S&M and non-monogamy but the partner isn’t sure he will enjoy or even be okay with some or all of the activities.
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Jay Blevins, LMFT
www.AwenTherapy.com
Jasmine St. John, LMFT
www.JSJTherapy.com
Hi, my name is Matt. I have a question regarding needs in BDSM. I’m fairly “vanilla”. I’m open to try anything, and even enjoy some light bandage and roleplay, however, my significant other is into S&M. I’ve never done S&M, and this is something she knew early in the relationship. I very much doubt that I’ll enjoy it, but I’ll try it for her. I’m worried that it not working for us will lead to her resenting me/our relationship. She says it’s not a deal breaker, but I have a nagging feeling that it will become one. For reference, she would like to play once every couple weeks, and prior relationships have allowed her to play with others outside of the relationship, which is something she knows I’m not OK with. I feel like I should break up with her to spare the time and disappointment, but I love her (and loves me), and am having a hard time with this. What should I do?
